Friday, July 04, 2008

Happy Fourth of July!

Well, enough doom, enough gloom. I can feel myself becoming insufferable.

I'm tired of dwelling on the drama. It's exhausting. As my friend Geoff pointed out, I found a spot on the roof during the flood. While the journalism industry has its issues, I feel I've backed the right horse in terms of my niche. The Trib still cares about having a quality product, and I plan to be a part of that.

Besides, it's a holiday, and I refuse to feel downtrodden today. Even if I do have to work.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Oh, What A Day

Today I went to work bracing myself for the announcement of the next round of layoffs.

We trooped into the 5 p.m. meeting, expecting not so great things.

Ten Tampa Tribune reporters are going to lose their jobs today. Apparently, writing is less important than distilling news into sound bites synched to iPod playlists.

It's a symptom of the way the world is going. Or, at least, the way America is going. It's not good. The dying of newspapers is a sign of a diseased society. People are getting too lazy, too stupid, too indifferent.

The day before yesterday, I worked an A1 centerpiece story on how high school students in Florida don't possess the basic literacy skills to flip burgers, let alone read newspapers. The Hillsborough County School District is trying to do something about that, but I don't have much faith in it, to be honest. The school district's supervisor of secondary language arts thinks "To Kill a Mockingbird" is set in the '50s.

What am I getting at here? The world is going absolutely nuts, and we're so gripped by fear of the unknown that we don't want to reach out and learn what's happening. Our values have gotten so out of whack that we simply curl up inside ourselves, plug ourselves in, and hope it all goes away.

The sad, scary thing is, Americans can make newspapers go away. But we can't make the problems go away. The Internet gives us the illusion that we can, but let me tell you, folks: Just because you don't click on the gas price story, that doesn't mean the problem vanishes. It's not Amazon.com. It's still going to land on your doorstep whether you've ordered it or not. That goes for elections in Zimbabwe, your corrupt city council or Iraq.

But honestly, America is so far into denial about itself that in a way it's not surprising that newspapers are dying. When you're guilty, it's hard to look in the mirror.

Monday, June 30, 2008

"But they fought with expert timing..."

Yes, Auntie Jan. I am watching kung fu movies. I have a fertile imagination, but there's absolutely no way I could make this stuff up.

Case in point: On Sunday, Scott and I watched "Fist of Fury," the 1972 Bruce Lee classic.

OK, here's the vengeance scheme: Japan is occupying China, and a Japanese martial arts school kills Bruce Lee's Chinese teacher just to be jerks.

Bruce Lee vengeance --> Head of the Japanese school, although in a pinch, anyone associated with the school will be just fine to deliver a karate chop to the neck.

Valuable lesson: Sometimes being in a calm, Zen state gets you nowhere, and you just have to let the ass-kicking begin.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

"In fact it was a little bit frightening ..."

This week, I watched "Master of the Flying Guillotine." There is a blind man who has a weapon composed of a cap outfitted with blades. If he throws it on your head, it means instant decapitation!

In this one, the vengeance flow chart is a bit more complex, but I'll try to outline it:

The Master of the Flying Guillotine (MotFG)'s two main disciples are killed by:

The One-Armed Boxer.

As a result, vengeance is to be had on him. So, the MotFG starts killing every one-armed man he can find. He goes to a martial arts tournament in search of him and kills:

The Teacher at the Eagle Claw school.

So, the teacher's daughter has to get vengeance on the MotFG.

The One-Armed Boxer, in self-defense, and probably out of vengeance, decides to kill the MotFG, too.

Whew! Did you follow all that? That was probably a less complex vengeance scheme than most martial arts films, but I'm still a neophyte.

What I learned from this movie: When seeking vengeance, it is better to strike with controlled, measured rage rather than scattered, disorganized rage. There's fewer bodies to clean up with the first.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Thank Goodness Someone Thinks I Have Something Worthwhile To Contribute

A washingtonpost.com column, on the state of newspapers, and the copy editing of them.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Dear Gay Friend (insert your name here, if applicable),

If you decide to run off to California to get married, I'd be delighted to be present and support your decision. I just want you to be happy and be recognized equally under the Constitution. Plus, I like cake!

But seriously, please alert me so I can arrange time off at work. If you get married, I wouldn't miss it for the world. You are loved, and I will help you tell the world.

Love,

Amy Muppet

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Today I'm

going to try making banana-walnut pancakes using soy milk.

Wish me luck.